As a single, millennial woman, there’s something you should know about me.
I’ve never used a dating app.
I have nothing against them. I’m addicted to social media just as much as the next girl. I just go about meeting men in other ways.
If you’re tired of dating apps or looking to expand your options for meeting new people, here is how you too can date without apps.
Work on yourself first. This might not be what you want to hear, but don’t skip this step. It’s the most important thing you can do for yourself. Your energy is critical when it comes to attracting the right people into your life. (This goes for all relationships.) I notice a big difference in the types of people I meet when I neglect my spiritual and self-care practices. If you don’t have a morning routine, now is the time to get started. My favorite spiritual tools include kundalini meditations, breath work, gratitudes, and journaling.
Get comfortable being single. I mean really, truly comfortable. The number one fear I see in my clients is that they will never find love again… so they want to cling to the past or jump into dating again too soon. Don’t skip the healing process. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable and really get to know yourself. Take yourself out on dates. Enjoy alone time. This is how you will learn what you love, what lights you up, and what you desire in your next partnership. Plus, there is nothing sexier than a confident, single, independent woman. Being single is fun!
Get clear on what you want. Write down everything you desire in a partner. Focus on how this relationship makes you feel. Then tuck it away and trust that you will be supported in calling in the right person when you’re ready. (How will you know when you’re ready? See steps 1 & 2.)
Try something new each week. As you’ve probably guessed, it isn’t all self-love practices from your bedroom. You have to put yourself out there, both physically and energetically. What’s a new skill you’d love to adopt? Find a salsa class, go to a concert in the park, see what some of your other friends are up to. Go to a new place each week and your network will expand. Bring a friend. You don’t have to do it alone. The same goes for when you’re away from home. I travel every single month and don’t limit dating to my hometown. You never know who you’ll meet or where your dating adventures will take you!
Don’t rush it. When people tell me that dating is “hard”, I have to disagree. It’s all in how you approach it. One of the reasons I’m not on dating apps is that I don’t want to make dating a job. Ever. Sometimes I’ll go out with several men in one week. Other times, I won’t date for months. And I’m ok with that. I trust that the right people are coming into my life when they should. Remember, you should be confident in your single status, and you want to be energetically aligned with meeting people who deserve you.
Be open minded. When I first started dating, I’d actually get offended if someone tried to set me up with someone who already had children. Why? I let my own insecurities about dating after divorce show up. I was stuck in the past and dealing with my own crap. Now, I am confident in myself, know I want, put myself out there, and am therefore more open-minded about who I will talk to and who shows up in my life. It’s all in the mindset.
If you’re a single woman, or unsatisfied in your current relationship and thinking about leaving, I invite you to join my new Facebook group — Life After Dating. It’s a fresh approach to healing the heart through community, spirituality, and adventure. Click here to join us!